1.
Do not move the table at your discretion in the restaurant.
You saw two empty tables, for example, you are ten people wanting to sit, and it’s customary here to arrange it yourselves and inform the waiter, “We’ve arranged a place for all of us, okay?” – Don’t do that in Italy.
We tend to “help” waiters (that’s us, right?), showing that we’re flexible and easily find solutions (because that’s in our nature), reflecting to them that it’s indeed possible (“why are they so rigid?”), getting sometimes mad about “what do they care” (“as if the restaurant is packed”), grabbing quickly before someone else takes the tables (“they came after us”), explaining to them that having 10 people is worthwhile (“come on, let’s go elsewhere..”), showing that we are warm and take part in tasks (“you want me to help??”)…. and there are probably more reasons.
The mentality of Italians is different.
Restaurants, especially family ones, have been around for years. Some give the impression of being from medieval times
, the tables haven’t been moved for centuries 
and the waiters’ route is already familiar to them even in their sleep 
, no one is missing a specific chair angle to fit into that route. The restaurants are family-oriented in terms of who manages them and who comes to them. Families in Italy are small, 2-3 at most 4 people. (Recently, it was reported that birth rates in Italy are at their lowest since the establishment of the state in 1861), the tables are adapted to size. Eating outside is a family event. Family but intimate. Are there sometimes celebrations with a large group? Of course, there are a few norms for all this.
Besides that… we are guests in their home. It’s not customary for the guest to enter and change the restaurant’s arrangements, even… (for all the reasons mentioned above), it’s considered impolite. Here, in our country, it’s okay. (In most places).
What should we do? Yes Italy
Do your best toreserve in advance, so they know that 10 people are coming (for example). Emphasize that you want to sit together. This doesn’t mean you won’t have to, perhaps, wait. It also doesn’t mean they won’t move tables on their own to make room for 10, but they have a broader view of all the guests and the ‘navigation paths’ of the waiters. Even if the restaurant seems half-empty to you.
- Be patient. Yes, you arrive at the restaurant, look for the person who seems like the manager and let them know. There are 10 of us. They will organize it themselves. Wait until they seat you. Even if you see out of the corner of your eye two tables that could be yours. This is your first interaction with them, the first impression matters for both sides.
- You can make suggestions. Don’t rearrange things on your own, just mention that you saw empty tables and would love to sit together. You might offer to help set things up, but usually they will politely decline your offer. Do not insist. This is part of their control.
- Of course, thank them. Sometimes it gets overlooked. With everyone being tired, hungry, and thirsty, everyone sits down and is happy—so they forget to say ‘thank you’. But gratitude is important to them. They made an effort, made a change, and listened to your request. It’s part of ‘European’ etiquette.
- Don’t be surprised if they place you quite close to other tables. This is part of the Italian culture. People sit almost together, which, as mentioned, allows waiters to move with raised plates in hand and keep everyone happy.
This way, not only will you leave satisfied, but you’ll also experience another aspect of the local culture.
